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Letting your husband-to-be see the dress before the wedding: Yes or no?



So I’ve just gone for a gown fitting for my wedding dress recently. It’s going to be spectacular :) I remember the first time we actually got into hunting for the perfect dress; from the beginning, I made it a point to never have my fiance coming along with us. Just my WO, my mom, my bridesmaid, and myself. My mom (and his mom) thought I’m weird, since they claimed they always see the women in Chinese dramas dragging their fiances along from one vendor to another, asking their men how she can look best for him as his future bride.

First of all, I thought first look traditions span across every culture. I was wrong – turns out it’s a Western tradition. No wonder our Asian parents didn’t get it, because my fiance agrees to save the moment – “seeing you in the white dress” – for the big day. Even if I did drag him along to see dresses upon dresses, he’ll say “it’s nice” for everything, as he likes it best when I wear white. He even beamed when I was “forced”1 to try on a random, unflattering, overly adorned ball gown during our visit to a local wedding expo. So yeah … we’ll just save the best for when the time comes (likewise, I appreciate his complete trust2 on my aesthetic judgment :) ).

According to Bridal Guide, the myth claims that betrothed couples weren’t supposed to see each other before the wedding to avoid bad luck in the marriage. Well, not exactly bad luck. This whole not-seeing-the-bride-until-wedding idea sprang from the days when arranged marriages were the norm – the father of the bride was afraid the groom would call off the wedding if he’s already seen her, found her unattractive, and back out while he still can. Even in today’s weddings, if your long-time boyfriend decided turns into a runaway groom, it’ll cast a shame on you and your family. The original purpose of the bridal veil was also to cover up the bride so the groom won’t find out what she looks like until the very last minute.

My purpose for semi-continuing the tradition? Simple: To make his “wow” first look moment even more “wow” than I think it’s going to be. He’s been “wow”-ed a couple of times before by some of my wardrobe’s prettiest dresses, but the next few times of seeing me wearing them wasn’t anything close to their first looks. So yes, simple as that. To maximize the pleasant in his surprise, and by pleasing him it pleases me . Just look at the heartfelt reactions of these grooms:

Some of my biggest inspirations:

First Look… [Karly Borgholthaus]

75 Reasons to Have A First Look [Bridal Guide]

The First Look: Groom’s Perspective [Jasmine Star]

24 Grooms Blown Away By Their Beautiful Brides [BuzzFeed]

Wedding First Look: What The Groom Is Thinking When He Sees His Bride For The First Time [HuffPost]


What do you think? When you got married, did you let him go wedding dress shopping with you, or did you surprise him on the big day? And all you single ladies, would you let your future husband know what to expect before the wedding, or would you “wow” him to the max? Share your thoughts on the comments section below~~



P.S. See #46 and #48 on BuzzFeed’s 50 most romantic things that ever happened.



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via Karly Borgholthaus on Pinterest


  1. … to keep the salespeople quiet. []
  2. Proverbs 31:11 []
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