Why is it that some people like to watch the same thing over and over again?
Like, you’ve watched The Notebook and all Spider-Man movies dozens of times in your lifetime. You know every scene, every line, and you know how it’ll all turn out in the end.
Is it precisely because we know exactly how it’ll all turn out that we keep watching them over and over again? Is this how my subconscious is speaking to me, that I’ve been wishing that I’d brainwash my way to manifest those scenes into real life?
Actually, I already know how my life will turn out. It’s both my ending and yours.
It’s a legendary story of how my Creator loves me so much He’d died for me, so I will leave this place knowing that there is a purpose to all this. All these problems, these hurdles, these anxieties and pain and confusion. Things will never be perfect over here. But sometimes, they linger for so long, they make you start to question whether you and your life has meaning at all.
Whenever the fogs begin to shroud my vision, I always forget this ending, or I’ll deny it’s ever mine. It’s too good to be true, I’ll say, because I’m that undeserving. It always happens whenever I feel far from Him, my moral compass, my eternal flame, the one and only soul worthy of my complete trust. Once He’s out of my sight, things get super blurry, and all I want to do is just curl up in my PJs and indulge myself in some home entertainment.
Let me tell you: At the end of the 2-hour show, your circumstances won’t change. Things are still confusing, things are still blurry, they are still haunting. In this life, there is so much to question, worry, and become doubtful about. Look at you, you contradict yourself all the time, so much so that you will yourself to a point where you don’t know what to believe.
DVDs aside, it’s best I go read our happy ending over and over instead of Hollywood’s. I will still forget it at times, but at least I’ll be useful most of the time while I’m here.