Looking back at the past six weeks On My Mark (Race Dates And On Staying Injury-Free, Making Fun A Priority, 4 Things To Do To Speed Up Efficiently, The INFJ Runner, The INFJ Runner, Part 2), I started thinking about why I started sharing my running with others. I’m embarrassed for some of the things I say on certain weeks when Making Miles was still what I call my running journal. It kind of synchronizes with all the things that I share on the blog – I just OVER-share.1
Before we go on, let’s get over with the usuals first: My running this week; Friday’s 800m-repeats was at a very, very serene place in Jakarta:
☑ Tuesday, November 5, 2013 – (10’32″ / mi) 3.7 mi, 38:53 min
☑ Friday, October 8, 2013 – (10’53″ / mi) 0.5 mi, 05:31 min
(10’22″ / mi) 0.53 mi, 05:35 min
(10’22″ / mi) 0.5 mi, 05:14.17 min
(12’26″ / mi) 0.5 mi, 05:14.71 min
(10’21″ / mi) 0.38mi, 04:01 min
☑ Saturday, November 9, 2013 – (13’08″ / mi) 2.13 mi, 28:05 min
8.25 miles this week. Keepin’ it steady~
From the very beginning, I really wanted to share that awesome feeling you get out of running. Maybe it was just the endorphins, but I know I was battling my inner demons. Slowly running turned into long conversations with God. Most of the time, though, it’s a big release from the stresses that build up throughout the day. At other times, it’s pure happiness you want to express when words cannot describe something awesome you’re experiencing in life.
Frankly I’ve had more fun keeping the race(s) I’m participating a secret. Because it’ll all be about experience rather than speed, I know that if I do externalize my goals to the world and that these races haven’t actually begun, somehow I’d jinx my performance on race day. Somehow, it’ll be about the tiresome “performing” again instead of just enjoying the ride.
October 6, 2013: Jakarta R.A.C.E. 2013 (5k + 10k) October 6, 2013: Mandiri Run (5k + 10k) October 13, 2013: ZINC Vertical Running (56 floors of Menara BCA) October 13, 2013: Allianz Heart Run 2013 (5k + 10k)
- October 27, 2013: Jakarta Marathon 2013 (5k + 10k + 13.1 mi + 26.2 mi)
November 3, 2013: the ongoing S4 Run Series (5k + 10k)
- November 24, 2013: Standard Chartered Half-Marathon Indonesia 2013 (10k + 13.1 mi)
People have been asking me why I didn’t opt for the 10k distance instead of the 5k. Of course logic speaks that I’ve done it a couple of times, and I can do it again. But you want to know the truth? I was secretly hoping to beat my all-time 5k PR2. I hinted it on the blog post about this “secret” goal, but in the end, what’s important was I had fun. I knew this kind of mentality will work because weeks leading up to the race I was training my mind to just enjoy the little strides instead of going turbo.
I also know this mindset works for both the short and long distances, so I’m keeping at it for now.
It may be the reverse for some people, but saying my goals out loud makes them much harder for me to turn them into reality. (See: Making Miles: Week 47, on the hidden side of goal-setting.) Externalizing my intents has never led me to deliver the standards I set myself up to deliver. Somehow, running builds that trust in myself until I’m fit to deliver the purpose.
This wouldn’t’ve come to life if I was telling my parents, my brothers, my friends, my grandparents, my cousins, my friends, and the rest of the seven billion people in the world about it. “I want to make a DIY book out of 10’s poem for him,” said I. And she will never get around to it – trust me.
Running has much to learn as being alive. When we were all kids our parents never taught us how to run – we just do. In itself, running is not a defining aspect of me, even though I do it a lot and have consistent mileage under my belt. Distance runners are so cool in my eyes, and I long to emulate their perseverance, patience, and resilience. For this reason, whenever I’m probed, I still couldn’t find the courage to call myself a “real” runner. A “real” runner to me is one who has dedicated his or her whole self to races of all distances throughout the seasons. Think four-time cross country champion Shalane Flanagan, for example.
I still am first and foremost an idealist – but never a runner … that’s why I decided to stop posting my workouts.
For one thing, what you see isn’t all there is. I do lots of cross-training, strength, intervals and plenty more HIITs together with my runs. Recently I’ve also taken up tennis to exercise my focus. Running is so freeing, diverging, so limitless that when I do focus on something, I focus obsessively about it. Basically there’s a sweet spot between feeling challenged and calm, and most of the time I just challenge myself out until I fatigue. Bad advice.
Despite so, I’m more than grateful if my weekly running journal has gotten you to take up the sport. I’m sticking with it for the rest of my life in the comfort of my privacy, even if it’s not about the race(s) I’m training for. Who knows we’ll pass by each other in your neighborhood hehehhe.
This may be my last word for On My Mark and for all the specifics of my personal training in general, but I’m still here, sharing health news, writing running tips, posting race pictures, basically hoping to inspire you to get moving in other ways3 that I can.
Keeping on moving forward is a work of heart. With that, I’m guarding my steps with all my might.
I’ve only casually heard about it weeks ago by word of mouth and is playing mind games with myself about joining. Now that I’m positive about it, registration’s already closed —_________—
Oh well. Here’s to the loyal readers who bear through the rants, complaints, self-inflicted thoughts, depressive episodes, and other really bad stuff I battled in my head whenever I run: Lace up, and run for your life!!
Let’s keep in touch on the road with Nike+ (staciapriscilla). Run your best for Nike We Run 2013 this December!!! #bajakjkt
Disclaimer: The regimen on this post is never intended as a substitute for personal training. It’s for your entertainment/educational purposes only, and personal accountability in my part. For professional advice, always consult a certified health and fitness trainer.