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H – 30: So, I’m actually going to be a bride …


It’s officially 30 days till the big day. As clichéic as this sounds, I can’t believe it’s finally happening. I mean, for real …

One moment you think you still have a long way to go before you become a wife. The next moment you’re going to be one in a blink. See, it doesn’t even occur to me that I’m going to have to be a bride first before I become a wife. I’ve gotten so focused about marriage and on how to foster and protect a good household that I didn’t realize … hey, we actually have go through the aisle first.

I never quite understand what’s the significance of a woman being a bride to the point where I looked up Wikipedia on it. Twice. None of the historical and cultural information ultimately tells me what’s the point of having over-the-top weddings … yes, I’d go so far as to say that my own wedding is going to be over-the-top, at least, for me. Every married Asian knows that your wedding is not just yours and your hub-to-be’s, but also your family’s – meaning, everybody has a voice. For ours, we’re going to have our “real” wedding in Bali, and 2 weeks later we’ll be holding another big banquet in our hometown Jakarta, although it’s a standard reception size in modern Indonesian culture. I told you at one point I’ve fantasized eloping … imagining everything that’s going to happen in the plan just freaks me out, and more than anything else, I really, really just want to hide behind my hubby-to-be the whole time.

But then what really struck me today (and yesterday, and for the past week … ) is the real significance of the idea of being a bride. Like, it’s actually a big deal. No wonder so many women have dreamt about it since they were little girls … since I wasn’t raised from a Christian family, I wouldn’t really know, or ever dared to dream about becoming a bride, much less a wife. The Bible says the church is the bride of Christ. When a bride and a bridegroom stands before the altar and say their I do‘s, they’ll no longer be separate parts of the church, but one stronger, more significant part of the body1 – from two legs into one, from Stanley and Stacia into Stance2. By choosing me to become his bride, le fiancé’s really put me on pedestal here … because he sees me as an individual worthy of melding with to symbolize Christ and his church, just as other Stances have been married in Christ. It’s got to be a pretty significant sight to behold, and this epiphany’s probably the sole reason I’m (finally!) getting particularly excited about the wedding.

Deep down, I still really just want to get it all over with, because with over 2,000 generations of wedding tradition comes a host of human-set values we “need” to follow, simply to pay respect to our family and homage to our culture. But hey … the months leading to this moment have made me much closer to Jesus than ever before. It’s made me realize how much I need him, and how much I need the church to keep me alive.

This all just means my introversion doesn’t excuse me from standing in the spotlight … I have to get my nails done, voluminize my hair, purify my skin, tone up all over, and get some really good sleep. It helps if you know you’re alive for an audience of One.


  1. Matthew 19:6 []
  2. Btw, our hashtag is #stance2015 []
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